Friday, August 05, 2005

She Saw Nothing.

I cannot feel anything until it is in words. I can understand what it is I am supposed to feel but I cannot have any type of reaction until I understand what the reaction is that I am having. I once held a woman for a whole night. She cowered beneath my strong arms as if she were begging me with her toes (rubbing them against my ankles) to feel something for her, to show her that I did. And it wasn't that I didn't feel. I lay there and touched her, memorizing her skin because I knew I wouldn't feel it again but never uttering a single sentence. I could have told her lies but I opted to tell her nothing instead. She saw right through me and she saw nothing.


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