Friday, September 09, 2005

Each Word I Realize.

The most difficult thing to do is write. You have only yourself to draw from and you have to watch the pictures you draw so closely and even then, sometimes, you can't figure out what they mean. So often I will start to write something which isn't wholly inspired but only fueled by my own fear of death and disappearance. I see each word as it forms the sentence and I feel the weight of imminence upon me. I feel myself so strongly and have no idea how to feel the world the same way. Each word I write I realize more and more that I write only to form myself in my own head and with the vain hope that one day, after my physical body rots and ferments, that self will somehow be known.

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